Tuesday, September 28, 2004
For the people who I have overheard saying "Widener....do they have fiction books there?":
I just held in my hands the hot pink hardbound edition of Pamela Anderson (Lee)'s debut book, Star. Newly catalogued and ready for shelving on 1-west. It did get good reviews on Amazon....
Introducing ourselves in econ section, I was last, "I'm a senior..." (the only senior). Section leader: "It's good to have seniors, bring some experience to the class". Ah, perhaps he will know soon enough... (I brushed off the graphing calculator yesterday and solved a matrix. so I don't remember how to do them by hand...I was still rather pleased with myself. its been a while.)
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I just held in my hands the hot pink hardbound edition of Pamela Anderson (Lee)'s debut book, Star. Newly catalogued and ready for shelving on 1-west. It did get good reviews on Amazon....
Introducing ourselves in econ section, I was last, "I'm a senior..." (the only senior). Section leader: "It's good to have seniors, bring some experience to the class". Ah, perhaps he will know soon enough... (I brushed off the graphing calculator yesterday and solved a matrix. so I don't remember how to do them by hand...I was still rather pleased with myself. its been a while.)
Monday, September 27, 2004
(0) commentsSunday, September 26, 2004
Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
....
Time past and time future
Allow but a little consciousness.
To be conscious is not to be in time
But only in time can the moment in the rose-garden,
The moment in the arbour where the rain beat,
The moment in the draughty church at smokefall
Be remembered; involved with past and future.
Only through time time is conquered.
- Eliot
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Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
....
Time past and time future
Allow but a little consciousness.
To be conscious is not to be in time
But only in time can the moment in the rose-garden,
The moment in the arbour where the rain beat,
The moment in the draughty church at smokefall
Be remembered; involved with past and future.
Only through time time is conquered.
- Eliot
Thursday, September 23, 2004
So I don't like to poke fun, and well, its cool the guy was in Widener in the first place (I know lots of people who avoid it) but....
kid approaches: so, I left this book from lamont somewhere back here [the stacks], I don't know what to do, and I don't know where it is
callie: well, we haven't picked up anything, but it should find its way to lamont
me: and worst comes to worst you can renew it online?
kid: um, what?
me: oh, you can renew them up to 5 times online, just go into hollis, sign into your account...
kid: no, what does it mean, to renew books?
(yes, he was very much a native english speaker. and yes, I've spent an absurdly disproportionate time at harvard in libraries, but...uh....)
STILL DON"T KNOW WHAT I"M TAKING. weep and sigh and spite.
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kid approaches: so, I left this book from lamont somewhere back here [the stacks], I don't know what to do, and I don't know where it is
callie: well, we haven't picked up anything, but it should find its way to lamont
me: and worst comes to worst you can renew it online?
kid: um, what?
me: oh, you can renew them up to 5 times online, just go into hollis, sign into your account...
kid: no, what does it mean, to renew books?
(yes, he was very much a native english speaker. and yes, I've spent an absurdly disproportionate time at harvard in libraries, but...uh....)
STILL DON"T KNOW WHAT I"M TAKING. weep and sigh and spite.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
"This is the use of memory:
For liberation- not less of love but expanding
Of love beyond desire, and so liberation
From the future as well as the past."
-T.S. Eliot in Brink
will she like and/or get into the memory seminar tomorrow....?
9/26/04 update.....yes and yes, but consequently possibly no...my chance to be with grad students foiled by too many undergrads with the same plan; my chance to challenge myself and actually have a prof as teacher turned into....another class led by a grad student. argh.
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For liberation- not less of love but expanding
Of love beyond desire, and so liberation
From the future as well as the past."
-T.S. Eliot in Brink
will she like and/or get into the memory seminar tomorrow....?
9/26/04 update.....yes and yes, but consequently possibly no...my chance to be with grad students foiled by too many undergrads with the same plan; my chance to challenge myself and actually have a prof as teacher turned into....another class led by a grad student. argh.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
two nights out in the quad on the heels of a georgetown adventure is a nice reminder that sometimes old friends really are the best friends.
but the first belltower party of the year...
dude who tapped me on the shoulder: "hi...I'm British." (hi...um, ok. I'm...unimpressed.) and later on "what do american girls think of british guys? charming? good looking? "
oh dear. what has love, actually wrought?
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but the first belltower party of the year...
dude who tapped me on the shoulder: "hi...I'm British." (hi...um, ok. I'm...unimpressed.) and later on "what do american girls think of british guys? charming? good looking? "
oh dear. what has love, actually wrought?
Friday, September 17, 2004
Things I don't miss about Buenos Aires
-having to look everywhere I step on the street (people really don't clean up after their dogs)- its so nice to hold my head up again
-the absence of juice
-the telecommunications network
-the elevators
-gas heaters/water
-windowless libraries
Things I miss about Buenos Aires
-that porteno winter was about as cold as Boston in September
-the restaurants- las cholitas, grant's...um, other places...why didn't I eat out more?
-a cafe on every corner. so maybe Havanna is the porteno equivalent of Starbucks, but at least its not overpriced and oversugared
-freddo ice cream
-lazy mornings, and nights that last til 5AM
-24 hour libraries. and the copies are cheap (by any standard) if copyable things are rare
- Plaza Serrano on the weekends
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-having to look everywhere I step on the street (people really don't clean up after their dogs)- its so nice to hold my head up again
-the absence of juice
-the telecommunications network
-the elevators
-gas heaters/water
-windowless libraries
Things I miss about Buenos Aires
-that porteno winter was about as cold as Boston in September
-the restaurants- las cholitas, grant's...um, other places...why didn't I eat out more?
-a cafe on every corner. so maybe Havanna is the porteno equivalent of Starbucks, but at least its not overpriced and oversugared
-freddo ice cream
-lazy mornings, and nights that last til 5AM
-24 hour libraries. and the copies are cheap (by any standard) if copyable things are rare
- Plaza Serrano on the weekends
Thursday, September 16, 2004
According to my roomate, what I just saw was not merely a monster truck revving up next to the lampoon castle to the tune of "I Feel Good". oh no. it, allegedly, was James Brown in a monster truck revving up next to the castle.
In other news, 100 shelved books= cover at Club Asia + night out at milion and fetish. an hour of work for two full nights out. remind me again why I didn't go out more?
perhaps because 100 shelved books= a girly drink and a half in the good old hs of cambridge.
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In other news, 100 shelved books= cover at Club Asia + night out at milion and fetish. an hour of work for two full nights out. remind me again why I didn't go out more?
perhaps because 100 shelved books= a girly drink and a half in the good old hs of cambridge.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
"All the words have been spoken, and the prophecy fulfilled, but I just can't decide where to go...."
Tonight, for the first time in three years, I saw a guard closing one of the gates to the yard. A bit of Harvard magic, unveiled....?
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Tonight, for the first time in three years, I saw a guard closing one of the gates to the yard. A bit of Harvard magic, unveiled....?
Sunday, September 12, 2004
They....deactivated my hotmail account.
This is my fault- I didn't check it while I was in argentina, and there goes 30 days.
but...they deleted YEARS of emails. most I've always meant to move to safer grounds. and now they are...GONE.
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This is my fault- I didn't check it while I was in argentina, and there goes 30 days.
but...they deleted YEARS of emails. most I've always meant to move to safer grounds. and now they are...GONE.
Friday, September 10, 2004
But, as I battle against exhaustion, here is one more thought
"The Chinese thrush sings in my heart and gray clouds gather in the empty sky of my mind. All things are my teacher"
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"The Chinese thrush sings in my heart and gray clouds gather in the empty sky of my mind. All things are my teacher"
As the packing recommences, one perhaps last Recurring Thought of the Summer:
"To be loved means to be consumed in flames. To love is to give light with inexhaustible oil. To be loved is to pass away; to love is to endure"
- William Gass on Rilke
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"To be loved means to be consumed in flames. To love is to give light with inexhaustible oil. To be loved is to pass away; to love is to endure"
- William Gass on Rilke
...Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through
-Szymborska
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is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through
-Szymborska
Thursday, September 09, 2004
"Do you have homework already?"
"Yeah, I have a lot of homework tonight"
Staples teemed with prep school kids hunting for back to school supplies. The shelves were decimated, and when my mother and I (printer paper and thesis binders in hand) get in the elevator with a father and two teenaged sons in tow, he and mom exchange weary looks. one of those the joys of superstore shopping looks.
except and then he says, well if we're lucky they'll work hard and do well and it will be worth it.
my mom didn't correct him, but looked amused.
I just truely noticed the gap between then and now, here and there. High school never felt farther away, yet I had to suppress the urge to act too cool for school (like there was anyone to impress). And I couldn't stop myself from whining "I don't want to go baaaaackkkkkkk"- clean notebooks and a new box of pens hold such a familiar ambivalence, promise and dread. But when the alternative is this utterly grown up world....I just don't know. Quilmes and martinis or colored pencils for history maps? How to navigate?
Recently reminded of the following, can't believe I forgot it:
"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except the memory of the smell of smoke and the presumption that once, our eyes watered" -R&G
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"Yeah, I have a lot of homework tonight"
Staples teemed with prep school kids hunting for back to school supplies. The shelves were decimated, and when my mother and I (printer paper and thesis binders in hand) get in the elevator with a father and two teenaged sons in tow, he and mom exchange weary looks. one of those the joys of superstore shopping looks.
except and then he says, well if we're lucky they'll work hard and do well and it will be worth it.
my mom didn't correct him, but looked amused.
I just truely noticed the gap between then and now, here and there. High school never felt farther away, yet I had to suppress the urge to act too cool for school (like there was anyone to impress). And I couldn't stop myself from whining "I don't want to go baaaaackkkkkkk"- clean notebooks and a new box of pens hold such a familiar ambivalence, promise and dread. But when the alternative is this utterly grown up world....I just don't know. Quilmes and martinis or colored pencils for history maps? How to navigate?
Recently reminded of the following, can't believe I forgot it:
"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except the memory of the smell of smoke and the presumption that once, our eyes watered" -R&G
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
In the deterritorialized space of the airplane, everything fell away. For a month, when I looked up from those crumbly Clarins (and the TV! way too much MTV) I had glimpes into a jet set expat twenty something world. If in Chile I made close friends, here I was part of a scene, through luck and coincidence. Which makes returning to Harvard feel pedestrian. aside from the fact I'm afraid of getting totally stressed out again.
I'm home. My parents brought cranberry juice in the thermos to the airport, and 'm home and is oh so quiet. I guess...the thing to be nostalgic about is that there will never be the same confluence of people again, which is fine in a way, but makes the next trip a big question mark because it is both novel and utterly exhausting to be interacting with totally new people all the time. I guess...I just hope I luck out the next time. (My perhaps favorite quote of the month: "In our social constellation, Irin is like the sun"). Wherever that will be!
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I'm home. My parents brought cranberry juice in the thermos to the airport, and 'm home and is oh so quiet. I guess...the thing to be nostalgic about is that there will never be the same confluence of people again, which is fine in a way, but makes the next trip a big question mark because it is both novel and utterly exhausting to be interacting with totally new people all the time. I guess...I just hope I luck out the next time. (My perhaps favorite quote of the month: "In our social constellation, Irin is like the sun"). Wherever that will be!
Monday, September 06, 2004
My last day in an internet cafe (for a while). Maybe now I will be less of an email addict? or not...
I´m looking forward to cranberry juice. I`m looking forward to....um....
I WILL MISS IT HERE SOOOO MUCH.
kinda juvenile, but thats the sentiment. Though, indeed some of the novelty is wearing off- I walked past a bunch of places this weekend that now have all sorts of memories attached to them, which makes everything more familiar but also wraught with perhaps unwanted sentiment.
For the grand last night out, a dinner with the girls and a huge steak, followed by (of all places) an expat bar called (of all things) Shamrock. and, at 3:30 AM, Max and I and a Brit and his argentine girlfriend made it to Metropolis, this huge cumbia club. a totally totally totally different atmosphere from all the techno, uppercrust type places we`ve (or rather, I actually didn´t so much) frequented. The woman who checked my bag at the front went so far as to open EVERY tiny pocket on my wallet. A coastal beat, for hours on end. A live band up on a platform, swinging around the shirts people tossed them. A young crowd, and the occasional extremely scantily clad transvestite. and me perched on Max`s shoulders, trying to catch the rhythm. And when we stumbled out at 5 AM, the bouncer gently prodded us away from the entrance, saying, they were expecting a fight, and they didn´t want us to get caught in it.
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I´m looking forward to cranberry juice. I`m looking forward to....um....
I WILL MISS IT HERE SOOOO MUCH.
kinda juvenile, but thats the sentiment. Though, indeed some of the novelty is wearing off- I walked past a bunch of places this weekend that now have all sorts of memories attached to them, which makes everything more familiar but also wraught with perhaps unwanted sentiment.
For the grand last night out, a dinner with the girls and a huge steak, followed by (of all places) an expat bar called (of all things) Shamrock. and, at 3:30 AM, Max and I and a Brit and his argentine girlfriend made it to Metropolis, this huge cumbia club. a totally totally totally different atmosphere from all the techno, uppercrust type places we`ve (or rather, I actually didn´t so much) frequented. The woman who checked my bag at the front went so far as to open EVERY tiny pocket on my wallet. A coastal beat, for hours on end. A live band up on a platform, swinging around the shirts people tossed them. A young crowd, and the occasional extremely scantily clad transvestite. and me perched on Max`s shoulders, trying to catch the rhythm. And when we stumbled out at 5 AM, the bouncer gently prodded us away from the entrance, saying, they were expecting a fight, and they didn´t want us to get caught in it.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Another beautiful sunny day. which almost makes it worse.....so sad, so sad so sad!
But yesterday, the best goodbye present ever, I was reminded of Bilbo Baggins, in a way, as I was taken to a wonderful hobbit hole with a box full of Expresos. and I photocopied some, and it was Good. wonderful.
Our fancy dinner last night, at a restaurant with 500 peso bottles of wine. and from there to a party at the Facultad de Derecho. It reminded me too much of bad Chile memories, and uncomfortable much of going back to school. but in itself, it was interesting to watch- the building is stunning, like the Lincoln Memorial except, perhaps bigger (and well, with rooms inside). Hundreds of people crowned into the foyer, and murga playing- a procession and sparks flying and drums pounding.
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But yesterday, the best goodbye present ever, I was reminded of Bilbo Baggins, in a way, as I was taken to a wonderful hobbit hole with a box full of Expresos. and I photocopied some, and it was Good. wonderful.
Our fancy dinner last night, at a restaurant with 500 peso bottles of wine. and from there to a party at the Facultad de Derecho. It reminded me too much of bad Chile memories, and uncomfortable much of going back to school. but in itself, it was interesting to watch- the building is stunning, like the Lincoln Memorial except, perhaps bigger (and well, with rooms inside). Hundreds of people crowned into the foyer, and murga playing- a procession and sparks flying and drums pounding.
Friday, September 03, 2004
"If you can only have a cat for one day, man"
I just interviewed Miguel Cantilo. I have a weekend left. How did it come to this?
Random observation: streetlights here seem designed to hinder speedwalking anywhere- they always are red. Which is why EVERYONE seems to jaywalk, from mother clutching to kids to older man hobbling across.
other Random observation: vodka and grapefruit juice mixed with something else isn´t the best of drinks. oh well. only 3 bucks....
other Random observation: at least two other people have logged into the facebook from this monitor, before.
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I just interviewed Miguel Cantilo. I have a weekend left. How did it come to this?
Random observation: streetlights here seem designed to hinder speedwalking anywhere- they always are red. Which is why EVERYONE seems to jaywalk, from mother clutching to kids to older man hobbling across.
other Random observation: vodka and grapefruit juice mixed with something else isn´t the best of drinks. oh well. only 3 bucks....
other Random observation: at least two other people have logged into the facebook from this monitor, before.
swanky mansion bar place with most of the gang, followed by a, of all things, hip hop place (so out of place) and the first of the goodbyes...
and why is webmail not working when I severely need it most?
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and why is webmail not working when I severely need it most?
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Ran into someone I knew on the street yesterday, which is a pretty neat thing in a city this big. Tried to make gnocci, which was a tremendous failure...and though I may renege on this, declare library time unofficially over- I can get the Clarin through ILL..and I can{t really stand being cooped up in windowless spaces anymore:)
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